my new years resolution no.1

LESS TO NO ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION (for real)

This came after I discovered that I have a typical asian genetic deficiency which is the accumulation of Acetaldehyde which may be caused by a missense polymorphism that encodes acetaldehyde dehydrogenase (ALDH2) an enzyme normally responsible for breaking down acetaldehyde (or basically known as alcohol).

I mean I have noticed this reaction for a long time and back then it was worst as I had far more terrible rash than now. But during a new years party, after drinking half a cup of mojito, my face turned red as a paprika instantly and everyone was wondering if i am drunk. The host whom is a medical student told me of such syndrome and the cause. Lastly she even warned me that if more alcohol is taken, this could induced cancer in the long run... OK. this is officially freaking me out.

Ok my alcohol history dated back to when I was 12. My dad and my brother both have the same genes deficiency as me but i think I am the worst among them. When I was 12, my dad taught me to drink red wine and said it was good for health and I was starting to adapt to the taste. As years go by, I started drinking more often especially during my college and bachelor degree times, (the period of teenage rebellious) I was often drinking til I was in bad shape after clubs and parties. Then at the age of 19, I discovered that I have bad allergic, for the first time I had hot and burning rashes that stayed on my chest and neck for 1 week and when it is gone left dead skins peeling everywhere. Clearly, I was not convinced by that as I was perfectly fine all the way since 12 years old. Why now?

So me being teenage stubborn, decided to try again and it occurred each time without fail. I felt sad because I was just about to begin enjoying clubbing sessions and my freedom to drink at a legal age and then this...! So i heard of people with this kind of condition, and some of them even advised me to keep drinking so maybe one day I will get immune to it.

It never worked....

At 22, when I went to Australia for studies, I slowed down on my drinking as instead of having heavy liquor went for wine instead after all I am in Australia the country which produces one of the finest wines. The condition went on but I ignored it compromising by only drinking during occasions.

All this while I never took this seriously thinking maybe it's just something common among Chinese and it will go away eventually. After i found out the truth from wiki, I am ready to give up this life long inconvenience and stick to strict non-alcohol policy because life is too beautiful to be given up for short term pleasure of sinking in alcoholism.

Do read more on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcohol_flush_reaction.

P/s: advice to all other Asians who suffer the same problem as me, think wisely before consuming alcohol if you appreciate life. :)

moving on 2012.

A little recap through what happened in 2011.

According to my memory, it seems like not long ago that I hosted my 2011 new year party where I behaved bizarrely after a few drinks. I definitely started my new years not as sober as this year. I am pretty sure because i will have to drive home after the new years party tonight.

I felt like I have achieved many in 2011 through good and tough times.

I braised myself and went for study tour in Europe, met a lot of new people and see a lot of new place.

Back in Melbourne, I had hard time looking for an apartment initially but settled to stay in Malvern for half a year. Found a cosy little room which is located in the suburbs. Made my all long dream came true which is to stay in a suburb. Lucky me, I even had a few friends which lived around. Therefore I bought a bicycle and did lots of road trips and more eating with them.

Stefan also came to Melbourne to gave me a surprise visit and we ended up going to Brisbane and Gold Coast, giving me an unforgettable memory there.

The half year ended with me graduating with good grades and I looked forward to embark my new journey in Germany right after that!

My second half of 2011 began with going to language school in Berlin, getting to know Germany and making more new friends and spending most of the second half of 2011 with Stefan and his family and friends. I had tough time struggling to find a job in Germany and ended up with many arguments and tears and dramas with family and even had chicken pox during that time. Thankfully, Stefan was there all the time going through the rough patch with me. Eventually 2011 slowly ended with me being back in KL and Stefan second visit to KL. This time was Stefan's turn to get to know my family and friends more.

Now here I am sitting on my bed writing this post after celebrating with a bunch of high school friends, saw amazing fireworks under the KL nights on the roof top.

I know 2012 is going to be another challenging year and I have many aims that I want to achieve so I will start this year with hopefulness that would keep me company through this tough journey ahead. I also know my family and friends will always be there for me. Who knows, I might be posting more good news in time to come ;)

This blog will definitely be the first to know!

Tschüs 2011, Hallo 2012.

The Top 5 Regrets In Life By Those About To Die

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way.

From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard - This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.

Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings - Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends - Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier
This is a surprisingly common one.

Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.

They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

upright

sometimes i just have to stress myself and make my point clear so that others will know i am serious.

i am starting to talk like Anne Frank, must have been the book... :=/

weird and strange feeling

i am feeling a little strange after 2 years of moving out from my parents place and now that i am back i still feel that my parents are treating me like a child. honestly i hate that feeling. now i know why people always say that they rather stay on the streets than live with their parents again..

attack of the chicken pox!

my chicken pox came too late... way overdue since i was 4!

how comes only 20 years later :(

i look awful now, pretty sure if i was 4 i wont bother how i look with those red spots all over.. ;-/

Updates from Berlin

Yo friends following my blog. I am sorry for my really inactive blog, since I left Melbourne and arrive in Berlin, my life have always been on the run.

For all of you that have missed out let me refresh you with what I have been doing since

In July,

**

After I have completed my master degree in Melbourne, I took a loooooonnngggg way (almost 21 hours of travel) to get to Berlin. Of course on the way I dropped by my beloved KL for 1 and a half day. Just enough to get all I need for upcoming journey and meet my long-missed family members.

I spent one and a half month in Berlin doing german language courses and getting adapted to the city.

Good side: I met lots of nice people from all around the world, seen lots of nice places, learn alot of new things, get to spend lots of time with Stefan's family and know them better.

Bad side: Missed asian food sooo badly as good asian food is hard to find (haven't found any Malaysian restaurant in Berlin so far), felt alienated sometimes because of the language barrier and of course the usual - home sick :-/

Thanks to the supportiveness of my ever thoughtful boyfriend, Stefan. I managed to overcome most of the downside.

In August,

**

We left Berlin to KL to visit my family and travel a little, we spent three weeks back home and I wished we could have stayed longer but it won't be possible as Stefan had to complete his final thesis which was due in September.

But we both had a good stay, Stefan got along well with my family and tried and seen lots of new stuffs in KL and Malaysia. KL was definitely a good distraction from all the stress we had.

In September,

**

Got back to Berlin, I had to start language school the next day after I flew back from KL. We had to battle jet lagged and adapt to all the stress again. Stefan and his final thesis dateline. I on the other hand apart from doing language course was busy job hunting. It has been a really stressing moment for us as I was sending out many applications but not getting any positive respond. Despite so at the moment, I am still trying and hoping for the best.. *keeps fingers crossed*

More to come on my updates... stay tuned!